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Thursday, July 12, 2018

Disconnected


I'm sitting there
I am here
But I don't feel awake
I feel almost in a dream
Not really sure what's happening
Conscious
But maybe not that aware
 I should be doing math
But I just can't
There are people all around me talking but I can't seem to understand or really hear anyone
There are just lots and lots of noise


I walk down the street
I'm tired
Walking home from school
I'm not good at walking
My day was ok
But overall annoying
I just couldn't think
I couldn't really function
My brain never seemed to wake up
And then at the end of the day in my class, we were done with what we were doing and usually, I would talk to someone or do something productive at this point but instead, I just sat there and read


I'm on my phone
Lying on the couch
I have my computer open
I really should be working on it
But I'm not. I'm already behind
I haven't been reading any of my fave blogs in over two weeks
And I've somehow let my scheduled posts get down to one
When usually I have 5
But guess what?
I'm just on my phone
Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram


I have been feeling super disconnected lately
 But I think that's normal
But hey
I've also had some amazing moments
Mostly around friends
I went to two birthday parties recently
One with a bunch of my old friends
One with a bunch of new
And they just made me smile
When I'm at school and just talking with friends
Probably stealing snacks
Maybe at lunch
We're probably arguing about a book
That's one of my favorite things
And one of the times I truly feel connected to I guess just the world in general

I found this in my journal recently and thought I should share it. I wrote it sometime in February when I wasn't having a very good week. I'm not exactly sure what was happening but I guess I just wasn't motivated to do anything. Which happens. For all the peeps who know me IRL and think I'm always smiling. Guess what? I'm not. I mean I probably am with you. I like people. And being around people. Maybe too much. But when I get home or am alone sometimes my mood can deflate a bit. For the record, I'm currently having a great time and week and month and a couple of months. But I think everyone can just get in their own head sometimes. :)

Should I share more things I've written in my journal? Do you sometimes just feel disconnected?

14 comments:

  1. dang, i loved this. i feel the same way a lot, so i could relate a lot to this.

    -mckenzie

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    1. Awww yayy so happy you liked it Mckenzie!

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  2. Omg I really relate to this! Sometimes you're just walking through life and feeling like you're in a dream, nothing really matters to you and you can't seem to be able to work up the energy to do anything... I really liked this post! :)

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  3. I feel like this ALL THE TIME! Like, it's not even funny how often I feel like this. I mean I feel like this more often than not, which probably isn't good. And I don't think anybody's happy ALL the time, just keep smiling!
    -Dani Jones

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    1. Haha yeah that might not be the best. Thanks Dani!! :)

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  4. Wow, I feel this way all the time too. Great post, as always. So inspiring. <3

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  5. Feeling disconnected is normal - believe me!!! <3 That's part of being human so don't be afraid to feel that way. XOXO

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  6. This is so relateable. I am glad that you have shared this on your blog. I have gone through phases like that as well. Where your mind seems fuzzy and you have little to no motivation. Have a fun weekend!

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  7. I hate feeling very disjointed and disconnected from everyone and everything-- I relate to this a lot, especially when my mental health is not in a healthy place. But hey, we do need to have some alone time sometimes, even for those of us who do have a habit of smiling through everything. ^.^

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | Story-Eyed

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    1. Yeah totally. :) Thanks for commenting Abigail!

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