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Monday, July 16, 2018

The Aesthetic Tag



Ok just starting off AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS FINDS AESTHETIC CRAZY HARD TO SPELL???? I can never spell it. I'm so bad at spelling it, even autocorrect doesn't understand and I have to look it up. Every. Single. Time. But anyway not the point of this post! I was tagged by the wonderful Kara over on Beautifully Broken (her blog is fab by the way you should so check it out!!) to do the Aesthetic tag! I haven't done a tag in soooooo long and It goes so so well with what I’m trying to put out into to world so I had to do it. Also yes this is ten million days late. I just kind of forgot about it in my drafts folder. Don’t judge. Just heads up I’m terrible at questions like this which is why I don’t normally do tags. Anyway, let’s get started!



Rules:
1. Post the tag photo in the body of your post and copy the title of your post from mine
2. Tag at least three friends who you know enjoys being authentic and real or their blog seems to be that message.
3. Answer all questions if possible and if they don't apply to you, explain why.

1. Post a no-makeup photo. Don't take and retake. You have one shot. It's so easy to take a photo over and over in a world of digital cameras, but before in the world of one step cameras and film, that just wasn't possible.




It’s like actually not that bad. Maybe because I always look amazing.  *flips hair*

2. The last song you listened to. If you don't remember exact song, then cd (Spotify or youtube may help you in this ;). 

I think it was DOLLHOUSE by Melanie Martinez. At school, I was just in the hallway and I randomly got this song stuck in my head. It just came to me. Then I had to pull it up and listen to it. When I first heard that song I was both kind of freaked out but also thought it was so cool because it was not the kind of song I usually listen to. Plus have you heard it??? 




3. A collage of pictures that show you. Pinterest is helpful in this or use your own. 


My friend Kristian made this for me and I think it's super duper cute! 

4. One moment in your life when God was all you had. 

This is not me trying to hide anything but honestly, I don't think I have actually had a moment like that so far. My 13 years of life I've lived have been pretty freaking great. My friends and family are absolutely amazing and are my lifesavers for everything. I have had a couple bad moments in life (as a normal human being) but I have always had someone to fall back on (besides God of course but he's always there so). One point that I can think (this is going to sound weird) was 1st/2nd grade. I did not have very good self-esteem in elementary. I just didn't think I was very cool. Plus in either 2nd or 1st (I can't remember), I don't think my friend situation was that great. At recess, I would literally just walk around and play with sticks. I was bored and I actually hated recess at that point. If you like to be social and you hate recess you know somethings wrong. What changed that was definitely one of my best friends Lydia coming to the school. 

5. Last picture you pinned on Pinterest (if applicable). If not Pinterest then the last photo on Instagram, last tweet on twitter, etc.

*goes to check*

*get's lost on Pinterest*

*remembers I was supposed to be doing something*

*oh wait*


I'm back haha. This fun planty pic was the last pic I saved to Pinterest as of the time I'm writing this! I saved it to my aesthetic/photo ideas board, basically a board where I save pictures I like lol. 

6. What is one thing your readers may not know about you?

I am pretty transparent with y'all so I don't think there is much you don't know haha. I usually say that I'm actually Egyptian for questions like these BUT I'M TRYING TO BE ORIGINAL AND AUTHENTIC SO WAIT A MOMENT WHILE I THINK. Something I don't talk about that I can think of is that I'm part of student council. It's not a humongous part of my life but I absolutely love it! We do a bunch of teacher appreciation and also fun events outside of school. Plus we just had our elections for next year and I'm officially vice president! I'm pretty happy about it. :)

7. A Bible verse that helped you through a difficult time. 


I feel like a lot of times we as Christians want to tell everyone about God and how amazing he is. That's super cool. But also just try to love one another and be kind. This didn't really help me through one difficult time but I think it helps me through just life. :)

8. Your greatest fear. 

My greatest fear I would say is missing out on something. Having this amazing opportunity in front of me and just not doing it, then regretting it and it affects me for the rest of my life. Missed potential I guess. Not sure why though haha. 

9. A word or quote that describes you (my board here may help you). 

A quote that I've been loving is "there can be no light without darkness." I am a super positive person and most of the time you will see me smiling. But things also can really get to me sometimes. Unlike some of my friends say, I'm not a robot. And during those hard times, I have to remember this. I can't be my normal bubbly self without going through things that will hurt me. 

10. If you could describe your greatest dream in one sentence, what would it be?

A modern eco-friendly house with lots of plants and bright colors, with a lake in my backyard and a city in the front.



I tag:


And seriously everyone else reading this! I love this tag and just think it's so cool. If you don't have a blog or just don't want to do it answer the questions in the comments below! Side note the fonts are being super weird in this post and I have absolutely no idea why. Fun things. 







Thursday, July 12, 2018

Disconnected


I'm sitting there
I am here
But I don't feel awake
I feel almost in a dream
Not really sure what's happening
Conscious
But maybe not that aware
 I should be doing math
But I just can't
There are people all around me talking but I can't seem to understand or really hear anyone
There are just lots and lots of noise


I walk down the street
I'm tired
Walking home from school
I'm not good at walking
My day was ok
But overall annoying
I just couldn't think
I couldn't really function
My brain never seemed to wake up
And then at the end of the day in my class, we were done with what we were doing and usually, I would talk to someone or do something productive at this point but instead, I just sat there and read


I'm on my phone
Lying on the couch
I have my computer open
I really should be working on it
But I'm not. I'm already behind
I haven't been reading any of my fave blogs in over two weeks
And I've somehow let my scheduled posts get down to one
When usually I have 5
But guess what?
I'm just on my phone
Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram


I have been feeling super disconnected lately
 But I think that's normal
But hey
I've also had some amazing moments
Mostly around friends
I went to two birthday parties recently
One with a bunch of my old friends
One with a bunch of new
And they just made me smile
When I'm at school and just talking with friends
Probably stealing snacks
Maybe at lunch
We're probably arguing about a book
That's one of my favorite things
And one of the times I truly feel connected to I guess just the world in general

I found this in my journal recently and thought I should share it. I wrote it sometime in February when I wasn't having a very good week. I'm not exactly sure what was happening but I guess I just wasn't motivated to do anything. Which happens. For all the peeps who know me IRL and think I'm always smiling. Guess what? I'm not. I mean I probably am with you. I like people. And being around people. Maybe too much. But when I get home or am alone sometimes my mood can deflate a bit. For the record, I'm currently having a great time and week and month and a couple of months. But I think everyone can just get in their own head sometimes. :)

Should I share more things I've written in my journal? Do you sometimes just feel disconnected?

Monday, July 9, 2018

I remember


*you might have possibly seen this post before so sorry about that it accidentally posted!!

I remember hanging out at the park almost every day after school with my friend
I remember sharing secrets on the playground
I remember being at home with my grandmother and her getting a call telling her my littlest sis had been born

I remember elementary school friend drama
I remember how there were these two kids who dated in elementry and then "got married" just so that they could get divorced??
I remember feeling so awkward whenever I had to change in front of someone


I remember listening to Hamilton on repeat with friends when it first came out
I remember my old preschool teacher teaching me how to draw a guitar
I remember my first day of middle school and how I felt so grown up
I remember graduating elementary and deciding I was a teen


I remember my 2015 blogging time and how I thought I was pretty amazing even though I really wasn't
I remember my first online friend actually responding to me and me being so happy
I remember talking to a friend about how we were going to make a webcomic (we never did) and how I was laughing my head off as we plotted because you know oranges (inside joke ok)


I remember holding on to a floaty as we went down the lazy river in Mexico when I was like 4
I remember fighting about if cats or dogs were better in an insta chat with some of the coolest peeps (shout out to y'all!)
I remember being talked about on another person's blog for the first time and thinking I was famous
I remember really starting to like blogging


I remember my grandparents old house and how it was humongous
I remember learning that some foods I ate all the time weren't actually eaten by most of my friends and that they (the foods) were Egyptian
I remember that one month I stayed at my grandparents place over the summer and how I really just used pinterest like every second of the day


I remember two houses ago and how me and my two sisters got the master bedroom and how it was humongous
I remember counting how many houses I've lived in and realizing it's now 7
I remember getting my phone and immediately texting my mom in all caps


I remember playing with blocks in kindergarten with my best friend at the time
I remember getting angry at that same best friends, friend when she accused me of stealing her friend
I remember one of my first school friends moving away and feeling devastated and also just kind of confused cause I didn't understand what was going on
I remember two of my friends saying they liked each other and had then started dating BUT LIKE DIDN'T TELL ME


I remember second grade and how I felt like this girl was stealing one of my really close friends away from me. That year wasn't that great.
I remember then kind of becoming friends with the girl because she would always hang around my friend group but we all didn't like her


I remember having debates at recess with one of my friends almost every week and how we would go around and ask the whole grade who was right
I remember how I would hate recess and just walk around aimlessly in 1st grade
I remember actually volunteering for a improve exercise in theatre and feelings so proud of myself because I'm not that great at improve
I remember when I got my old kindle which was my first electronic. I was crazy happy and I remember possibly just touching the screen which was probably so weird but I was just so happy


I remember how there was a pool near one of my old houses and we would go almost every day over the summer
I remember going to this old ladies house (she was babysitting us) over the summer around 1st grade and noticing all of the different things about her
I remember when I absolutely hated reading and only did it when my parents forced me too
I remember when I first learned how to swing and I was with some people I didn't know that well at a park and I was struggling so they told me like the secret and it probably blew my mind


I remember whenever it rained how I would want to put on my bathing-suit and run around
I remember that feeling whenever we would drive up to my (other) grandparents after the 16 hour car ride and being so genuinely happy
I remember each passing year and how they seem to get shorter and shorter
I remember when I was absolutely obsessed with the Pokemon card game and I would even collect cards until my dad got bored and we moved on to Magic


Did you guys like that?? What are some of your most distinct memory? What's the earliest point in your life you can remember? What kind of posts do you want to see on here??

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